Dear Mamas: You Are Not Crazy

Dear mamas,

You are not crazy.  I hear it from you all the time, at my Eastham group, or at your homes: "I just worry so much; I'm so crazy!", "I'm just being crazy", "I must be crazy".  And a thousand other, more oblique ways of saying it.  And I get it; sometimes it seems like that might be the only explanation that makes sense for the way you are feeling.  Sometimes it's easier and more natural to just dismiss what's going on by thinking it's a problem with you and not the situation you're in.  

 

But I want to talk about this phrase.  I want to talk about how often we say a woman is 'just being crazy'. 

Playing NICE: How Women Rise

Playing NICE: How Women Rise

Our commitment to women and their work is nothing we joke around about, and if you know us, we can't help ourselves when it comes to a good laugh. We love hearing stories from fellow women who saw needs in their communities and found a way to fix that deficit. They saw a problem and they took care of it, the way we strong women do.  Whether by offering services, goods, or both, the women entrepreneurs we have surrounded ourselves with have built businesses run entirely on intelligence, fervor, eagerness, and pure ambition. They are the go getters, do gooders, and up lifters.

On 'lactivism', choice, and shame

On 'lactivism', choice, and shame

As happens from time to time on the internet, there are some breastfeeding horror stories making the rounds.  I won't link to them because I don't want to give them traffic; scare tactics are a cruel way to make your point, whatever your point is.  And to that end, I want to say something about 'activism' and the natural parenting community (and the broader world in general): if your 'activism' tactics center around shaming individual people for making choices you don't agree with, you are not an activist, you are an asshole.  If your 'activism' tactics center around scaring people into following your advice, you are not an activist, you are a fearmonger.

That's not what we are about here at Rising Tide Women.  Our goal, always, is to help you be informed about the decisions you are making and then to support you in what you've chosen.  This doesn't mean we believe that all choices are equal and we should all just hold hands and sing together.  

What's with all the anchors anyway?

Hi!  I want to talk about our logo today.  You miiiiight have noticed we're kind of obsessed with it.   We put it on everything.  And also, we just got buttons made with it.  And we're gonna give them out at NICE, so come see us, say hi, meet us in person, and get your button!  

But I want to talk about why we're so obsessed with our logo.  First, Jen at Dulce Press made it for us, and you know we love supporting other local businesswomen.  Jen is great, and she makes beautiful things, so you should check her out.

Also, we loved the symbolism of it.  

When does it get easier?

It's been a tough week for me.  For a lot of reasons I won't get into here, but suffice to say I'm struggling.  The other night, when there was a brief moment of respite in between all the kids trying to out-shout and out-cry each other, I looked at my partner and said, "Good Lord, when does it get easier?"

Unfortunately, he didn't have an answer for me.  And I keep replaying that question in my head.  I remember asking it so desperately when the twins were babies.  "When does it get easier?"  It's a question I hear now from the new parents I work with, and clearly I haven't found a satisfactory answer because I'm still asking it.  

Learning how to throw someone a rope

Learning how to throw someone a rope

Hello new friends, people I don't know.  And a few people I do.  I want to get raw with you for a moment in the hopes that it may help someone else out there in the internet land.  It feels vulnerable to talk about these things, so I want to ask you all to be kind.  (CN: Postpartum rage, suicidal thoughts, intrusive thoughts)

I read an article this morning that threw me off balance in a big way.  I found myself tearing up and feeling nauseous in the middle of my kitchen in Brewster, reading it on my phone while my four year old asked for a glass of juice and my puppy tore up the living room carpet.  It's this article: Naked.  Please go read it.  It's short, but it spoke to me in a way that few things do.  

After the birth of my twins, I was battered.  Traumatized.  Their birth and early infancy went exactly the opposite of what I had been dreaming of: unwanted cesarean birth, NICU stay for respiratory distress.  My sweet, precious babies

Introductions

Introductions

We invest our time, energy, love, and care in creating children who will live in the world we are all co-creating together each day.  We create that world through our actions and treatment of others, and Lindsay and I see that as the key to creating a world where women of all ages, all reproductive statuses, all colors, all genders, and all classes feel supported and safe in the world.